For the last few weeks, I have
found myself being distracted and sometimes overcome with envy. Whether
it was a workday, a social gathering, or hearing an update from friends and
family abroad, I felt the pangs of jealousy rise within me and affect the way I
saw myself. As I have moved along day by day, there would be moments when
I felt seemingly alone, and even misunderstood. When I would find a quiet
moment alone to my thoughts, tears would start to fill my eyes and I had to
force back the tears and the urge to cry out. Circumstances being what
they are, that one close friend was needed, but not accessible.
Finally, I found time to be alone enough to cry and process my
thoughts and feelings to make some sort of rational sense. The harshness
of the realities of the situation were in fact a result of social truths and
conditions; this of course, not being a direct attack on who I am or choose to
be. However, after a good cry and dedicated time for contemplation, I
acquiesced to what the reality of my situation may be, and what I choose to
make of it.
Every single person on the Earth we call home is different,
unique, and significant. The variety of colour in hair, eyes, skin, and
personality creates the beauty of the world in which we live in. Even
when we feel small, insignificant, and overlooked, we are all part of the
Portrait of the World, it is not complete without us in it.
As I type this entry, I still feel a little hurt, a little
envious, and even a little sad. However, I know without a doubt, I am
beautiful. I am intelligent. I am sexy. I am destined to be
happy. I know these things are true because I choose to make it so.
I choose to be happy. I choose to see beauty in myself and in those
around me. I choose to make an effort to improve myself and gain
confidence in the person that I am, and strive to be.
Sexy starts with me. First in the head, then with the heart.
Happy Stay Sexy Thursday!
