Unrequited Love (this one is for a good Mate)

"Even love unreturned has its rainbow.” ― J.M. Barrie, The Little Minister

Dear Friend,

It's okay that she doesn't return your affections.  It doesn't mean you're a bad person, or that you're not worth loving.  It only means she cares enough for you to be honest about how she feels towards you.  Be a man.  Respect her decision, and  the boundary.  Don't torture yourself, or make her feel awkward for not feeling the same for you, as you feel for her.  Sometimes, you like them more than they like you - it happens.

You asked for advice, so here it is.  

You care about her, and she cares for you.  If you truly care for her, let her go and find happiness, and find it for yourself.  Your happiness will also make her feel that she hasn't fatally wounded you.  Let's face it, you are stronger than that.  It will also bring her happiness knowing that you have found what you were looking for.  It's a win-win.  I am not saying it's going to be easy, but look yourself in the mirror and see yourself as the man you want to be and prepared for the woman you deserve to be with some day.

Today is Stay Sexy Thursday, and I encourage you to look into the mirror and take a good look.  You're worth it.  Work towards making conscious choices to be happy.  You deserve to be happy.  Seek out the beauty of everyone around you, and I am not talking about superficial beauty.  Beauty comes from the inside out, and when you find it...honestly, my friend, when you find it, cherish it.  Be loyal and be honest.  Don't be afraid to hold on to it, just because of the package might be different than what you expected.  

This may not be the best advice in the world, but I really liked this quote when I came across it. Sexy starts first in the head, then with the heart.  Good luck, my friend.  Remember, you always have a friend.

Your friend always.

"When I say that all my woman are dazzling beauties, they object. The nose of this one is too large; the-the hips of another, they are too wide; perhaps the breasts of a third, they are too small. But I see these women for how they truly are... glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect, because, I am not limited by my eyesight.

-Don Juan Demarco

Green with Envy

For the last few weeks, I have found myself being distracted and sometimes overcome with envy.  Whether it was a workday, a social gathering, or hearing an update from friends and family abroad, I felt the pangs of jealousy rise within me and affect the way I saw myself.  As I have moved along day by day, there would be moments when I felt seemingly alone, and even misunderstood.  When I would find a quiet moment alone to my thoughts, tears would start to fill my eyes and I had to force back the tears and the urge to cry out.  Circumstances being what they are, that one close friend was needed, but not accessible.   

Finally, I found time to be alone enough to cry and process my thoughts and feelings to make some sort of rational sense.  The harshness of the realities of the situation were in fact a result of social truths and conditions; this of course, not being a direct attack on who I am or choose to be.  However, after a good cry and dedicated time for contemplation, I acquiesced to what the reality of my situation may be, and what I choose to make of it.

Every single person on the Earth we call home is different, unique, and significant.  The variety of colour in hair, eyes, skin, and personality creates the beauty of the world in which we live in.  Even when we feel small, insignificant, and overlooked, we are all part of the Portrait of the World, it is not complete without us in it.  

As I type this entry, I still feel a little hurt, a little envious, and even a little sad.  However, I know without a doubt, I am beautiful.  I am intelligent.  I am sexy.  I am destined to be happy.  I know these things are true because I choose to make it so.  I choose to be happy.  I choose to see beauty in myself and in those around me.  I choose to make an effort to improve myself and gain confidence in the person that I am, and strive to be.

Sexy starts with me.  First in the head, then with the heart.

Happy Stay Sexy Thursday!

Choose to See the Good

I met a young woman recently who struggles with body image.  She's a beautiful young lady, both inside and out, but doesn't have the ability to see herself in the mirror for what she really is.  We talked about her challenge with an eating disorder and she was very candid with her experience.  She's is now maintaining a healthy lifestyle, but continues to take each day one at a time. 

The discussion was insightful and meaningful.  It was also very humbling for me.  I often take for granted a very wonderful and special gift that I have been blessed with in my life.  The idea of looking at myself in the mirror and seeing something beautiful, exceptional, worthwhile, and significant, is a gift.  In sincerity, I am not blind to the "imperfections" that others may see in my appearance or demeanour, instead, I see the flesh that makes me different from those around me, and I see what lies beneath the crude matter we call a physical body-my spirit and soul.  I take it for granted that I can see good.  I take for granted something that comes easily to me that another struggles with on a daily basis.

Let's take an opportunity today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, or any time really, to compliment a person we  are acquainted with.  Some may not be able to see the good in themselves, so...share it. 

Stay Sexy Thursday is about spreading the positive message that we are who we choose to be.  Choose to be the best you can be.  Choose to make decisions that will improve your station in life.  Choose to see the good, no matter how challenging it may seem.

The Stay Sexy Attitude starts with you.  :)

The Big Push

This last week I have been feeling the push and the pressure of needing to get things done.  Big changes are happening for me and the summer is fast approaching.  As the days grow longer, and the pace quickens. I find that I have sometimes forgotten to give myself the attention I need to stay strong physically and emotionally.  

I don't know about you, but when my days fill up with tasks that support several other people, I tend to forget to do things for myself.  Whether it's eating a simple meal to maintain my physical strength, or giving myself time to relax and enjoy a few moments alone to regenerate, I start to feel myself breakdown...just a little.  But after a few days, the little grows into a little more, and I start to have those thoughts of negativity creep in.  I start to think "I feel fat today." or "I'm an emotional wreck."  Usually, all I need is time to care for myself and do things that make me happy.

When life starts to push you in a hundred directions, try and remember to take a few in the directions that will make you happy.  It's not being selfish, it's self-preservation.

Sexy starts first in the head, then with the heart.

Happy Stay Sexy Thursday!

I got my Swagger Back

When I think of a person that has swagger, or swag, I think of people like Errol Flynn, Sydney Poitier, Anthony Perkins, Katherine Hepburn, Sophia Loren, Ingrid Bergman, Clark Gable, and of course James Dean. These celebrities had swagger, to the mmph-teen-th degree. I try not to overuse the term, because I don’t want to cheapen it.

Once upon a time, I lost my swagger. After some time and effort, I got it back and now I’m ready to pick up where I left off.

Y’all can use “swag” anyway you like, I’m not mad at it, but Ingrid Bergman helped remind me get back on track!

“Be yourself. The world worships the original.” - Ingrid Bergman

Happy Stay Sexy Thursday!

Take Five!

Happy stay sexy Thursday! 

People claim to be "too busy" to do the "little" things in life and then complain that they feel unfulfilled. The little things, the simple tasks, tend to be the most crucial to fulfilment. There is always time to seek after our own happiness. Choose to make it a priority. 

Remember to take time for yourself first. If you're not happy, those around you won't be happy when you're around. I call it the "take five" approach.

1. Take five minutes a day to appreciate your reflection
2. Take five of your favourite physical attributes, feel good about it, and list them out loud to yourself.
3. Take a look around you and find five people you appreciate in your life and meditate on why.
4. Take those five people and tell them you appreciate them.
5. Take five minutes out of the day (or more) to find good in others you encounter and let them know it.

The "stay sexy attitude" starts first in the head, then with the heart.

Making Changes

During winter break, I started to focus my "learning new things" time on less physically demanding activities:  sewing, knitting, crocheting, and cake decorating.  It's been a great experience.  I feel like I am becoming more a well-rounded individual.  Next weekend, I am heading to an area without mobile coverage and couldn't be more excited!

Sometimes, life throws us opportunities and you just need to reach out and grab onto them with both hands, close your eyes, smile, and enjoy the ride.  I have that feeling very strongly today and it makes my whole body tingle with excitement.
Today's thoughts for Stay Sexy Thursday revolve around Change and the impact it can have on our lives.  Even when the change is challenging to us, embracing and accepting that it's inevitable will help us make sound decisions on how we respond to it.

The 'Stay Sexy' mentality starts first in the head, then with the heart.  Follow both and you will rarely be lead astray.

jjf