Unrequited Love (this one is for a good Mate)

"Even love unreturned has its rainbow.” ― J.M. Barrie, The Little Minister

Dear Friend,

It's okay that she doesn't return your affections.  It doesn't mean you're a bad person, or that you're not worth loving.  It only means she cares enough for you to be honest about how she feels towards you.  Be a man.  Respect her decision, and  the boundary.  Don't torture yourself, or make her feel awkward for not feeling the same for you, as you feel for her.  Sometimes, you like them more than they like you - it happens.

You asked for advice, so here it is.  

You care about her, and she cares for you.  If you truly care for her, let her go and find happiness, and find it for yourself.  Your happiness will also make her feel that she hasn't fatally wounded you.  Let's face it, you are stronger than that.  It will also bring her happiness knowing that you have found what you were looking for.  It's a win-win.  I am not saying it's going to be easy, but look yourself in the mirror and see yourself as the man you want to be and prepared for the woman you deserve to be with some day.

Today is Stay Sexy Thursday, and I encourage you to look into the mirror and take a good look.  You're worth it.  Work towards making conscious choices to be happy.  You deserve to be happy.  Seek out the beauty of everyone around you, and I am not talking about superficial beauty.  Beauty comes from the inside out, and when you find it...honestly, my friend, when you find it, cherish it.  Be loyal and be honest.  Don't be afraid to hold on to it, just because of the package might be different than what you expected.  

This may not be the best advice in the world, but I really liked this quote when I came across it. Sexy starts first in the head, then with the heart.  Good luck, my friend.  Remember, you always have a friend.

Your friend always.

"When I say that all my woman are dazzling beauties, they object. The nose of this one is too large; the-the hips of another, they are too wide; perhaps the breasts of a third, they are too small. But I see these women for how they truly are... glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect, because, I am not limited by my eyesight.

-Don Juan Demarco

Green with Envy

For the last few weeks, I have found myself being distracted and sometimes overcome with envy.  Whether it was a workday, a social gathering, or hearing an update from friends and family abroad, I felt the pangs of jealousy rise within me and affect the way I saw myself.  As I have moved along day by day, there would be moments when I felt seemingly alone, and even misunderstood.  When I would find a quiet moment alone to my thoughts, tears would start to fill my eyes and I had to force back the tears and the urge to cry out.  Circumstances being what they are, that one close friend was needed, but not accessible.   

Finally, I found time to be alone enough to cry and process my thoughts and feelings to make some sort of rational sense.  The harshness of the realities of the situation were in fact a result of social truths and conditions; this of course, not being a direct attack on who I am or choose to be.  However, after a good cry and dedicated time for contemplation, I acquiesced to what the reality of my situation may be, and what I choose to make of it.

Every single person on the Earth we call home is different, unique, and significant.  The variety of colour in hair, eyes, skin, and personality creates the beauty of the world in which we live in.  Even when we feel small, insignificant, and overlooked, we are all part of the Portrait of the World, it is not complete without us in it.  

As I type this entry, I still feel a little hurt, a little envious, and even a little sad.  However, I know without a doubt, I am beautiful.  I am intelligent.  I am sexy.  I am destined to be happy.  I know these things are true because I choose to make it so.  I choose to be happy.  I choose to see beauty in myself and in those around me.  I choose to make an effort to improve myself and gain confidence in the person that I am, and strive to be.

Sexy starts with me.  First in the head, then with the heart.

Happy Stay Sexy Thursday!

Choose to See the Good

I met a young woman recently who struggles with body image.  She's a beautiful young lady, both inside and out, but doesn't have the ability to see herself in the mirror for what she really is.  We talked about her challenge with an eating disorder and she was very candid with her experience.  She's is now maintaining a healthy lifestyle, but continues to take each day one at a time. 

The discussion was insightful and meaningful.  It was also very humbling for me.  I often take for granted a very wonderful and special gift that I have been blessed with in my life.  The idea of looking at myself in the mirror and seeing something beautiful, exceptional, worthwhile, and significant, is a gift.  In sincerity, I am not blind to the "imperfections" that others may see in my appearance or demeanour, instead, I see the flesh that makes me different from those around me, and I see what lies beneath the crude matter we call a physical body-my spirit and soul.  I take it for granted that I can see good.  I take for granted something that comes easily to me that another struggles with on a daily basis.

Let's take an opportunity today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, or any time really, to compliment a person we  are acquainted with.  Some may not be able to see the good in themselves, so...share it. 

Stay Sexy Thursday is about spreading the positive message that we are who we choose to be.  Choose to be the best you can be.  Choose to make decisions that will improve your station in life.  Choose to see the good, no matter how challenging it may seem.

The Stay Sexy Attitude starts with you.  :)

The Big Push

This last week I have been feeling the push and the pressure of needing to get things done.  Big changes are happening for me and the summer is fast approaching.  As the days grow longer, and the pace quickens. I find that I have sometimes forgotten to give myself the attention I need to stay strong physically and emotionally.  

I don't know about you, but when my days fill up with tasks that support several other people, I tend to forget to do things for myself.  Whether it's eating a simple meal to maintain my physical strength, or giving myself time to relax and enjoy a few moments alone to regenerate, I start to feel myself breakdown...just a little.  But after a few days, the little grows into a little more, and I start to have those thoughts of negativity creep in.  I start to think "I feel fat today." or "I'm an emotional wreck."  Usually, all I need is time to care for myself and do things that make me happy.

When life starts to push you in a hundred directions, try and remember to take a few in the directions that will make you happy.  It's not being selfish, it's self-preservation.

Sexy starts first in the head, then with the heart.

Happy Stay Sexy Thursday!

I got my Swagger Back

When I think of a person that has swagger, or swag, I think of people like Errol Flynn, Sydney Poitier, Anthony Perkins, Katherine Hepburn, Sophia Loren, Ingrid Bergman, Clark Gable, and of course James Dean. These celebrities had swagger, to the mmph-teen-th degree. I try not to overuse the term, because I don’t want to cheapen it.

Once upon a time, I lost my swagger. After some time and effort, I got it back and now I’m ready to pick up where I left off.

Y’all can use “swag” anyway you like, I’m not mad at it, but Ingrid Bergman helped remind me get back on track!

“Be yourself. The world worships the original.” - Ingrid Bergman

Happy Stay Sexy Thursday!

Take Five!

Happy stay sexy Thursday! 

People claim to be "too busy" to do the "little" things in life and then complain that they feel unfulfilled. The little things, the simple tasks, tend to be the most crucial to fulfilment. There is always time to seek after our own happiness. Choose to make it a priority. 

Remember to take time for yourself first. If you're not happy, those around you won't be happy when you're around. I call it the "take five" approach.

1. Take five minutes a day to appreciate your reflection
2. Take five of your favourite physical attributes, feel good about it, and list them out loud to yourself.
3. Take a look around you and find five people you appreciate in your life and meditate on why.
4. Take those five people and tell them you appreciate them.
5. Take five minutes out of the day (or more) to find good in others you encounter and let them know it.

The "stay sexy attitude" starts first in the head, then with the heart.

Making Changes

During winter break, I started to focus my "learning new things" time on less physically demanding activities:  sewing, knitting, crocheting, and cake decorating.  It's been a great experience.  I feel like I am becoming more a well-rounded individual.  Next weekend, I am heading to an area without mobile coverage and couldn't be more excited!

Sometimes, life throws us opportunities and you just need to reach out and grab onto them with both hands, close your eyes, smile, and enjoy the ride.  I have that feeling very strongly today and it makes my whole body tingle with excitement.
Today's thoughts for Stay Sexy Thursday revolve around Change and the impact it can have on our lives.  Even when the change is challenging to us, embracing and accepting that it's inevitable will help us make sound decisions on how we respond to it.

The 'Stay Sexy' mentality starts first in the head, then with the heart.  Follow both and you will rarely be lead astray.

jjf

Pumping Iron

Today at the gym I pumped some iron. I do it regularly. Conditioning my body and keeping fit improves my emotional well being. This past week, I've neglected my emotional well being by not keeping my mental conditioning regiment up, and decided that today is stay sexy Thursday and I need to refocus some of my energy towards fueling my body and my mind. Pathetically and unashamedly that started with appreciating my reflection in the mirror while exercising. The guys next to me didn't seem to mind my foolish grins at myself and the kissing of my biceps. The ladies off to the side seemed to be confused though. It is what it is and what it is is sexy. Can't fault a sexy beast from appreciating their assets. Happy stay sexy Thursday.

Awkward Week

It's been an awkward week, but it's Stay Sexy Thursday so it's helped refocus my thoughts. As I've been processing all that has transpired this week, I can't help but feel love. Love and gratitude for the things I have. Love for the life I am blessed with. I have had many opportunities to learn to build trust in the good of others, patience to endure difficult times, and to have confidence in who I am and what I stand for.

"Don't allow fear to hold you back when you should go forward."

Happy stay sexy Thursday.

Feelin' It

As a general rule, I am quite happy when I rise in the mornings.  Every once in a while, I wake up feeling amazing!  That was yesterday for me.  There was an extra bounce to my step, my head was held a little higher, my reflection was even more adorable to admire as I prepared for my day.  I love days like that.

Sometimes when we feel sorrow and pain, we lose sight of the good that’s in front of us and it takes the unexpected to shed some light into our lives.  I’ve had a few days this last week where I wasn’t 100% on my game, and the unexpected compliment, or act of small kindness brought me back into the present.  I’m grateful for those moments, and for the people with whom I cross paths.

It was a gorgeous day in Anchorage, Alaska, today, and I hope that you had a chance to appreciate your surroundings, even if you found it different than the norm.  Change can appear difficult, but seek out the good and you’ll be surprised that you’ll actually find it.  Stay sexy. 

Highs and Lows

Happy Stay Sexy Thursday!  Highs and Lows post today.

Let's start with a low...my phone died tonight and it took awhile to get it charged enough to function again.  Missed out on returning an important phone call.  :(  Hope my friend forgives me...

High, an interaction at work today brought a huge smile to my face and brightened my day, and possibly the rest of the week.  As we strive to improve ourselves both spiritually and emotionally, let's not forget to appreciate those little moments that give us a boost when needed, and sometimes forget how nice it feels to be noticed for the little things we do.

High:  cake decorating class was super fun tonight and our cupcakes got out of hand.  It was dope!

Low:  the cupcakes did not survive the drive home.

Flower Training

Learning to make shells

I believe this was the pom pom flower?

Learning to make different leaf patterns

Some sort of flower?

Hawaiian Themed Cupcake

Experimenting and not sure how I felt about this one...

Attempting to use every skill taught in one class on one cupcake

We felt proud and accomplished

The combined effort

The Remnants :(

A Little Less Toxic

A new semester has started and a whole new schedule of work, school, and craziness has commenced.  I'm excited for my classes and in particular, my yoga class.  I was worried that it was going to be too weird, and all I want to do is become more limber.  So far, it has been wonderful.  Yesterday, the instructor shared some very interesting information.  Stress causes us to forget to take less and less deep, full breaths every hour of every day.  She reminded us to be conscious of breathing more fully and readily when feeling 'stressed.'  She challenged us to 'breathe deeply several times' when we feel we are becoming grumpy, irritable, in short, when we feel like we are becoming 'toxic.'

I really appreciated that challenge and reminder to take control of our faculties and be proactive in our lives as we face any number of life's challenges.  When feeling angry, take a few breaths to make sure that's how we really feel.  When attempting to do homework, or dealing with work issues, take a few breaths, and the solution will fall into place, or you will be clear headed enough to make wise decisions.  I'm making a goal to be less toxic in my day to day life.

A little less toxic, and a lot more breathing in life!  Stay Sexy!

I Don't Make Resolutions on New Year's Day

Happy New Year!  I realise it is customary to make ‘resolutions’ to kick off the New Year.  It’s not my style.  It has been my experience that many people make resolutions that are fleeting, so I don’t make them.   I believe in making goals, however, but I don’t need a day on the calendar to tell me it’s time to start making changes.  

I make goals year round.  I am constantly evaluating, re-evaluating, and recommitting myself to my goals.  The only way to truly be resolute in your effort to improve your status in life, or to achieve all that you set out to achieve is to do it, and then do it again.  I also believe this is what makes one successful.  The constant re-commitment to goals and aspirations keeps you more focused and fresh energy exerted in your effort. 

It is okay if your goal changes.  Relax.  Your time line may not be as you expected, because the Universe has its way of getting involved.  Don’t be afraid to go after something because you ‘planned’ for it to happen in a different time frame.  

In massage school many years ago, the question was posed:  Can you eat an entire elephant?  The answer is ‘Yes, absolutely.’  How?  One bite at a time.

If you must be resolute, do so by committing yourself to evaluate your goals on a monthly basis.  This monthly reminder will help you decide  a few things.  One, if you’re making all the effort you should be.  Two, is this the direction you want to go in, and if so, how can you recommit yourself to maintaining and improving.  If not, figure out what can you do to that will make you happy and reaching your goal(s).  Finally, three, make sure it is making you happy.

Be healthy, wealthy and wise.  And when I say ‘wealthy’ I am most certainly not talking about monetarily, though it wouldn’t hurt if you were.  Sexy starts with me from the inside out.  Keep it sexy, keep it real, and love every moment!