In a Fishbowl

Have you ever considered the life of a pet gold fish?  Not I, at least not until recently.  But I fear I may be awful lonely in answering 'nay' to that question.  A gold fish swims around in their fishbowl and can be seen by every passing person.  They are trapped by their circumstances of being a pet, in a bowl, and on display for all to see.  They get their needs met as their owners feed them, and clean their water out regularly, at least one would hope, but to what end?

As men and women, we often find ourselves confined to a proverbial fishbowl like the pet gold fish; swimming in circles, not experiencing or testing new waters.  This sort of public self-consciousness invites fear, doubt, and anxiety into our minds, which in turn prevents us from moving forward on a new hobby, sport, or interest.  We have great concern for what we think people may or may not be thinking of us if we reach open and uncharted waters.  So we swim in circles.  Sometimes bumping into our own reflection in the glass, but completely unaware that it is our own image we are observing.

Unlike the pet gold fish, we have the means, the opportunity, the know-how to swim in the open seas, great lakes, rivers, and streams.  The reality, is that we confine ourselves to living in a fishbowl.  We're often afraid that doing something different, something grand, will only put us under more scrutiny, but we are most likely to be found wanting.  Are you living in a fishbowl?  Are you watching others around you experience life, while your needs are simply being met?

As I've considered this for myself, I have found that in many aspects of my life there is confidence, and self-assurance in what I do.  However, in others, I lack the will and drive to push myself outside of my comfort zone (fishbowl).  I think I'm going to start today by recommitting myself to lengthening my stride and pushing myself to grow.

Today, I will______________________________.


Happy Stay Sexy Thursday!

JJ

P.S.  In a conversation earlier today, there was a remark about how cheerful I had been a few weeks ago, despite some challenges I was experiencing.  I couldn't articulate this at the time, but when I came across this in some reading this evening, I realised this about sums it up. (J.T.)

And because of my faith—even in the seemingly worst of times—I recognize with peace and gratitude that in reality it is the best of times. - Richard C. Edgley

No Apologies, No Regrets - Kissinger

Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets.'
Henry A. Kissinger

The journey of Life allows us to become who we choose to be, and in the end, let's hope we have no regrets.  This doesn't mean we have to be infallible and always make good choices; for as the Garth Brooks song goes, "Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it's learned."  We can always learn from difficult experiences, whether the event that occurred was within our control or not.

Sometimes Difficult Truths. 

1.     Whether you know them or not, or get along with them, you are your parents' child.  You are genetically and/or emotionally linked to them. 

2.     You are perfectly designed to get the results you get.  If you are unhappy with the results you're getting, take a good look at your input factors and choose to make changes. 

3.     Your happiness, is your Choice.  Make choices that satisfy both mind and heart, for when they are in accordance with one another you will find greater happiness.

4.     The world will continue to turn, with or without you.  You're insignificant in that respect, but you are important and worth the effort.  Believe it, because it's true.

5.    People will make mistakes.  People will disappoint you.  But you will do the same.  Forgive others.  Forgive yourself.

Life happens.  We've all heard it before.  It doesn't make it easier, nor does it make it easier to accept difficult experiences and process those emotions.  It also doesn't give me comfort, generally, to hear someone tell me that I am not suffering alone.  However, I believe that there is always a life lesson to be learned from trials and triumphs.

Be confident.  Be smart.  Love, be loved, and believe in Love.  Sexy starts within the walls of your mind, it's felt in your Being, and comes oozing out of your figurative pores, so own it.

Sexy starts with me.

JJ

Energy Drink

Over the last few years, "energy drinks" have become an everyday necessity for many people.  I do not rely on such drinks to get through my days, but do find myself seeking ways to keep my physical and emotional self "energised."  Every person is different in what their needs may be, or how they nurture their minds and bodies daily.  These are just a few things I do to try and keep my mind and body at peak performance on a daily basis.

Meditate. 

For me personally, prayer and contemplation are effective ways start to my day.  Meditation comes in many forms; yoga, quiet moments, and breathing exercises are also part of my Meditation Arsenal.  We are all busy.  I’m absolutely not exempt from getting caught up in the Rat Race that we seem to always be caught up in, however, taking those small and essential moments each day are absolutely crucial to my overall well-being.

Exercise. 

Nearly every morning, I wake up early and go to the gym for a strength training workout.  In fact, sometimes, meditation can be coupled with exercise, especially if we’re busy.  Even if I go to bed late and feel like I am dragging to get myself there, it’s always worth the effort.  My mind is sharper, my blood is pumping through my body and I’m ready to face the day!

Diversion.

No matter how busy we are, or how busy we think we are, we all have the desire and a need to engage in some sort of diversion.  Often, I am engaged in some sort of athletic or musical activity to serve as an outlet.  I have many pastimes, but it’s not about having many to choose from, but knowing what activity allows me the appropriate outlet in various situations.   Some days, I just want to go home, prepare a cup of hot chocolate, and grab a reading light, get in a comfy bed, and a good book.  There are other days I can hardly wait to hit the ice so I can skate out my frustrations, or excitable energy.  It took me awhile, but now I know what I need on any given day.  Have a hobby.  If you’re having a tough time wondering what activity may be right, ask a friend.  J  Having diversions is what keeps me balanced and feeling emotionally satisfied.

Expectation.

Several years ago, as I was crying on someone’s shoulder about a recent disappointment he asked me the following question:  “Why not expect to be disappointed, rather than get disappointed after someone you know has let you down repeatedly in the past, continues to disappoint?”  I immediately answered his question with this:  I would rather hope and expect the best in people and be disappointed for a few moments, then live daily always expecting the worst out of the people that surround me.  

Why would this be an important goal for me?  Is it easy?  What kind of life could I enjoy if I was constantly expecting the worst of those I come into contact with?  Would I be able to be open to trusting and loving the many beautiful people I engage with daily?  What would that look like when I looked at myself in the mirror each morning?  Would that image make me happy?  Would those around me feel happy in my company?  These questions and many others went through my mind in a matter of seconds, and I can tell you that I am certain that I would not like myself very much if I was constantly expecting people to always let me down.

Today, I made a goal to look for good in all places.  I’ve been so focused on issues that have been troubling me and forgetting to look and appreciate all that is good.  In the effort, I felt the best emotionally than I have in weeks.  Seek out the good, and the cup of good, will overfloweth.  

Sexy starts with me.

JJ

Feeling Romantic

The seasons are changing, and Mother Nature keeps us on our toes as we head into another winter season.  Winter is my favourite time of year, especially here in Alaska when the snow comes, and blankets the mountains with "frozen sunshine."  Our gorgeous state will be one big outdoor playground, provided by Mother Nature herself.  Winter time is a time for hot chocolate, cuddling with a blanket by a fire with your favourite book, bonfires at the lake and ice skating, and walking downtown on a cool and clear winter night watching the Northern Lights dance across the sky.  Lifts my spirits to feel the crisp air on my cheeks!

As I went through my day today, wishing friends, family, strangers a "Happy Thursday," I had a moment of catharsis.  For the past few weeks I have had several opportunities, nay, helpful reminders, that I need to keep my head up.  They have been challenges, big and small, that have bombarded my days, interrupted my sleep at nights, and I have worked hard to keep my outlook positive.  I've laughed.  I've cried.  I've been angry.  I've been hurt.  I've felt isolated.  I've felt as if there was no end in sight.  Today, I remembered that I used to tell friends that would come to me in times of trouble:

"There is always light at the end of the tunnel, even when we can't see it.  So keep your head up, and moving forward.  You'll see that light, and it's going to be worth the effort." 

Replaying those words in my head really made an impact on my day.  I stood a little straighter, my head held a bit higher, and I smiled a little brighter.  We are all at different stages in our lives and as I listen to one of my favourite pieces by Mozart (Piano Concerto No. 23 in A Major), I am reminded of my romantic notion of how love should be in all the many facets of our lives.  This pieces brings a contented smile to my face and makes my soul content, with its gentle reminder of the playfulness of love, the comfort it can bring when days are arduous, and the steadiness it brings when we have love.  Not just the love from the people in our lives, but the love we choose to share with those around us.

Happy Stay Sexy Thursday!  Be sexy.  Share sexy.  Live sexy.  Sexy starts first in the head, then with the heart.

JJ

Changing of the Season

I love the changing of the seasons.  Seeing the colours in the sky, the changing of the leaves on the trees, and the feel of the crisp, cool air on my cheeks as I walk with warming hands in my pockets.  There is a fragile balance sometimes between weather and the animals within this fragile existence when weather turns stormy.  So this also applies to humans in our daily lives.  We often teeter on a balance between the good and the challenging; or getting caught up in the challenging and being blinded from the good.

Today, I had the opportunity to share a little about what SST is all about and how we can apply the pillars, if you will, that is the core of why we celebrate and acknowledge such a day.    I must admit, I had a busy summer and I got out of the habit of wishing people Happy SST.  So, here I am, recommitting myself to keeping up with the goodness.

Though I try and treat others well everyday, it's always helpful to have a day in the week that reminds me to keep my head up, and to be mindful.  Sometimes life gets hectic, and seemingly complicated and I forget to see the good, and the goodness in others.

It's days like today that I get the gentle nudge to get outside of my little bubble and appreciate the world I live in and appreciate all that surrounds me;  whether it's the great pea coat being worn by someone passing by, or noticing a fabulous book bag, even perhaps, showing appreciation for a small service rendered like the opening of a door as you walk into a building.

No matter what anyone says to you, or about you, only YOU can control the way you feel and perceive your true self.  Do more than look in the mirror and smile back today.  Extend those good thoughts and actions by "paying it forward."  Pay someone a compliment, or a dashing smile.  Though small effort on your part, it may leave a long and lasting impression on someone else.

"I cannot in a moment refute great slanders; and, as I am convinced that I never wronged another, I will assuredly not wrong myself."

Socrates - The Apology