Modest is Hottest

Modesty

1:         freedom from conceit or vanity

2:         propriety in dress, speech, or conduct

Synonym:  Meek - enduring injury with patience and without resentment

There is a common misconception about modesty in dress*, as well as in how one conducts themselves from day to day.  This last week, several people have shared their concerns about modesty with their children, or had situations incur recently that made them stop and consider modesty.  Needless to say, I couldn’t help but think of Isaiah aka Captain Happy, and how he would always wear his “Modest is Hottest” sticker at church on Sundays.  It is my hope, that men and women alike have the opportunity to understand what it means to be modest.

To be modest in what we wear can become a convoluted conversation for many people.  As fate would have it, when many (particularly the younger generations, Generation X included) think of dressing modestly, they automatically assume “old lady” and unattractive outfits fill and cloud their mental vision of what it means to be modest.  This is a travesty for both genders, since simple elegance is something to strive for when choosing a dress to attend certain types of functions, and there is something about a Tuxedo that does wonders for any man.

To be confident and to be conceited are two different ways to conduct oneself.  To be modest and meek are not characteristics of a weak individual; they are symbols of strength and self-preservation.  To have the forte to be confident with whom you are; to respect those around you despite any social backlash, or injury you experience, and to continue to do so with resolution is to be held in high regard.

 Belittling, or cutting someone down to puff you up injures both the giver and the receiver.  Encourage one another.  Lift each other up.  Remind yourself and those you care about that “Modest is Hottest.”  Someone once encouraged me to “Be a woman of mystery.”   With social media being what it is, it’s become very easy for people to put it all “out there” for everyone to see and read.  Leave a little something for him/her to find later as you get to know people.  It’s always a pleasant surprise to be sitting talking to someone you think you have all figured out, and have them reveal something new and interesting.

Stay Smart.  Stay Sharp.  Stay Sexy.

 *Modest in Dress – what you deem modest is left up to your discretion and comfort level.  But Modesty, doesn’t mean we can’t still look attractive [sexy].

”Stay Sexy Thursday”の5周年の日に

初めての人に”Happy Stay Sexy Thursday”を祈るとき、多くの人はまごついた顔をして“何それ？”と尋ねます。今週は私が毎週伝えたいと思っているいくつかの基本的なコンセプトを共有したいと思います。

「自信」は魅力的な特徴であり、長く育まれていくものです。内向きに始める人に満足していると、その美しさは外に向けて映し出されていきます。私たちの態度、笑顔、誰かと会話するときの目線、そして私たちの幸せを通して、私たち自身の内面を外に向けて表現していくのです。私たちが私たち自身や私たちが主張するものに対して満足であるとき、すなわちそれが「自信」であり、人々はそれに惹きつけられるのです。

「信念」。私たちは皆それぞれが従うべき道徳的な指針を持っています。その指針を持ち続け、自分たち自身が着実に実行することを選んだ指針に対して固く決心していることは、今の私たち自身、そして私たちがそうなりたいと思う人物になるための道のりに必要な要素なのです。自分を信じなさい。

私は私であり、それが私の全てです。なぜなら私がそうなることを選んだから。私はすばらしい。

毎日がそれまでで一番良い日となるように努力しなさい。困難に直面したとしても、私たちはそこから学び、困難な状況からでもベストを創出することを選べるのです。泣いても深く悲しんでもかまいません。イライラしてもよいのです。これらは全て人間の条件なのです。これだけおぼえておいてください。「そこから何かを学んだのであれば、失敗は失敗ではありません。それが「失敗」、つまりあなたが直面したチャレンジであるかどうかは、たとえそれがその際にわからなかったとしてもあなたがそこから前向きな何かを学ぶかどうかです。

「仕事」。私たちが人生において欲しいものを得ることは一定の労力となります。ですから、このことは自信にもつながりますし、高い自尊心を持つことにもなります。私たちは皆異なり、またそれぞれが異なる人生の段階にいます。もしあなたが現時点で望まない場所にいるならば、自分自身で達成したいゴールに向けてのプランを作りなさい。あなたならできます。それはあなたの役に立ちます。例えば、子供を育てることは労力です。学校で優等生であることも労力です。時々、仕事や学校に行くことすらが大きな労力になります。結局のところ、私たちの努力は金銭的な価値よりも更に大きな結果となるのです。私たちはよりよい選択や成績を取る子供に恵まれています。私たちは家族のための家と一日の終わりに家族に与える食事にも恵まれているのです。

”Stay Sexy Thursday”の5周年の日に、私はこれらの考えを皆さんと共有します。私は人類の利益を信じます。私は大いなる力を信じます。私は私自身が聡明であり、私の能力と立場において美しく輝いていることを信じます。鏡には、自信に満ち溢れ、美を探し求め、全ての最善を願う美しい女性が映っています。彼女は継続的に人生のゴールに対して評価し、再評価し、繰り返し決意しています。そして、前を見続けています。彼女は自分自身でなんでもできる女性なのです。

セクシーとは、まず頭から始まりそして心とともにあるのです。

Translated by T.M.

Celebrating 5 years of Stay Sexy Thursday

Today marks the 5 year anniversary of “Stay Sexy Thursday.”

The first time I wish someone a “Happy Stay Sexy Thursday,” I often get a perplexed look and the question, “What is that?” generally follows.  Let me take this week to share some of the basic concepts that I hope to convey each week.

- Confidence is an attractive characteristic and it must be nurtured.  When we are happy with the person we are starting inwardly, that beauty is also projected outwardly.  Through our posture, our smile, our eye contact with those we communicate with, and our happiness, we are giving an outward representation of who we are within.  When we are happy with whom we are and what we stand for, that is confidence, and people are drawn to it.

-  Belief.  We all have our own moral compass that we must follow.  Having, maintaining, and being resolute in the compass we choose to adhere to is essential to the person we are now, and on our journey to the person we want to become.  Believe in yourself.

- I am who I am and that’s all that I am, because I choose who I am – I am awesome.

-  Strive to make each day the best day so far.  Even when faced with challenges, we can choose to learn and make the best out of a difficult situation.  It’s okay to cry.  It’s okay to grieve.  It’s okay to feel frustrated.  This is all part of the human condition.  Just remember this:  Failure isn’t failure if a lesson from it is learned.  Whether it is a “failure,” a challenge you’re being faced with, you can always take something positive away from it, even if you don’t see it right away.

- Work.  It takes work to have the things we want in life.  So this also applies to confidence and having a high self-esteem.  We are all different and in different phases of life.  If you’re not where you want to be now, make a plan to reach your goal.  You CAN do it.  It pays off.  For example, rearing children takes work.  Doing well in school is work.  Sometimes, just getting to work or school is a lot of work!  In the end, the effort we put in pays dividends beyond that of monetary value.  We are blessed with happy children that make good choices, or a diploma.  We have a home for our families and a meal to feed them at the end of the day.

On this 5^th year of Stay Sexy Thursday, I share these last thoughts with you.  I believe in the good of Man.  I believe in a higher power.  I believe that I am brilliant and that I shine brightly within my capacity and own sphere.  When I look in the mirror, I see a confident, beautiful woman who is seeking beauty in the world around her, and hopes for the best in all things.  She is constantly evaluating, re-evaluating, and recommitting to her life goals and chooses to hold her head up.  She is a woman who believes she CAN do anything.  

Sexy starts first in the head, then with the heart.

**Be prepared to see multiple language translations of this post, in hopes that we can share it with our friends.  I know I have friends spread out around the country and world.  This anniversary season I hope to share the love with those both near and far.  Thanks in advance for all of those assisting with the language translations.

Trevlig var sexig torsdag

Första gången jag nämner för någon "Trevlig var sexig torsdag" ser folk förvirrade ut och frågar vanligen "vad är det?". Den här veckan tänkte jag förklara några av de grundläggande concepten som jag hoppas att förmedla varje vecka.

Sjävförtroende är en attraktiv egenskap som måste odlas. När vi är lyckliga och tillfreds med den person vi är inuti, så projicerar vi skönhet och lycka utåt. Genom vår hållning, vårt leende, och ögon kontakt med dem vi kommunicerar med, och vår lycka, så visar vi utåt hur vi är inuti. Självförtroende är när vi är tillfreds med den vi när och vad vi står för och folk dras till detta.

Tro. Vi har alla vår egen tro, moral, och värderingar. Vi kan välja att bejaka vår viktigaste egenskaper genom att etablera, underhålla, och vara fast i vår moral och värderingar nu och under resan mot personen vi vill bli. Tro på dig själv.

Jag är den jag är och det är allt jag är för jag väljer vem jag är; Jag är fantastisk!

Sträva att göra varje dag till den bästa dagen hitintills. Även när vi möter motgångar kan vi lära av av dem och göra det bästa av motgångar. Det är ok att gråta. Det är ok att känna sig frustrerad. Det är en del av att vara mänsklig. Kom bara ihåg detta: Ett misslyckande är inte ett misslyckande om vi lärde oss något från det. Vare sig det är ett "misslyckande" eller en motgång, du kan alltid välja att göra det till en positiv erfarenhet även om det från början kanske inte är uppenbart hur.

Arbete: Det tar hårt arbete att få de saker vi vill ha i livet. Detta gäller även självförtroende. Vi är alla olika och i olika faser av livet. Om du inte är där du vill vara nu, gör en plan hur du kan nå ditt mål. Du KAN göra det. Det lönar sig. Till exempel, att uppforstra barn kräver mycket arbete. Att lyckas i skolan kräver också arbete. Ibland är det hårt arbete bara att ta sig till skolan eller jobbet! Med tiden lönar sig arbete, även bortom de pengar man kanske tjänar. Vi välsignas med glada lyckliga barn med goda betyg och vi kan ha ett hem för våra familjer där vi kan äta våra måltider i slutet av arbetsdagen.

Jag ville dela dessa avslutande tankar då det är fem-års jubileum för "var sexig torsdag". Jag tror på människans godhet. Jag tror på en högre makt. Jag tror att jag är brilliant och att jag kan glänsa med min mentala kapacitet. När jag tittar i spegeln ser jag en självsäker och vacker kvinna som söker skönhet i den omgivande världen och hoppas på det bästa i alla situationer. Hon utvärderar, omvärderar, och fokuserar på sina mål i livet och väljer att vara stolt över sina val. Hon är en kvinna som tror att hon kan göra allting!

Sexig startar i huvudet sedan med hjärtat.

Translation by:  T.S.

Jueves de Estar Sexy

La primera vez que le desee a alguien “feliz jueves de estar sexy,” siempre me regresan con la pregunta “qué significa eso?”  Y con una mirada perpleja. Déjenme tomar esta semana para compartir algunos de los básicos conceptos que espero trasmitir cada semana.   

-Seguridad en uno mismo es una característica atractiva y debe de ser alimentada. Cuando somos felices con la persona que somos estamos comenzando por dentro, para que la belleza también se proyecte hacia afuera. Por nuestra postura, nuestra sonrisa, la conexión visual con las personas con las que nos comunicamos, y nuestra felicidad, nosotros estamos presentando hacia fuera quienes somos por dentro. Cuando somos felices con nosotros mismos y por nuestros valores, eso es seguridad en sí mismo, y las personas son atraídas por ello.

-Creer. Todos nosotros tenemos nuestro propio compás moral que debemos seguir. Tener, mantener, y ser actuar  en el compas que escogemos seguir es esencial para la persona que somos ahora, y el camino hacia la persona que queremos ser. Creer en uno mismo.

-Yo soy quien soy y eso es todo lo que soy, porque yo escojo ser quien soy –yo soy estupenda.

-Haz que cada día sea el mejor día. Aun cuando somos confrontados por retos de los cuales podemos aprender y hacer lo mejor de cada situación difícil. Está bien que lloremos. Está bien que lamentemos. Está bien sentirnos frustrados. Todo esto es parte de la condición humana. Solo recuerda: La derrota no es derrota si hemos aprendido algo de ella. Cuando es una “derrota,” un reto que tú hayas enfrentado, tú puedes siempre tomarlo por el lado positivo, aun cuando no lo veas de inmediato.

- Trabajo. Toma trabajo hacer las cosas que queremos en la vida. Esto también aplica a la seguridad en uno mismo y la alta autoestima. Nosotros somos todos diferentes y en diferentes fases de la vida. Si tú no estás donde tú quieres estar ahora, haz un plan para alcanzar tu meta.  Tú PUEDES hacerlo. Al final habrá una recompensa. Por ejemplo, educar a un niño toma mucho trabajo. Estar bien en la escuela toma trabajo. A veces, solo ir al trabajo o la Universidad toma mucho trabajo! Al final, el esfuerzo que ponemos paga dividendos que sobrepasan el valor monetario. Nosotros somos bendecidos con buenos hijos que toman buenas decisiones o logran un diploma. Al final del día, nosotros tenemos nuestras familias y un plato para alimentarlos.

En este quinto año de aniversario de jueves de Estar Sexy, yo quiero compartir estos últimos pensamientos con ustedes. Yo creo en la bondad del hombre. Yo creo en un poder superior. Yo creo que soy brillante y que esta luz brilla desde mi capacidad interior y mi propia esfera. Cuando me miro en el espejo, yo veo a una mujer segura de sí misma, una mujer hermosa que busca la belleza del mundo a su alrededor, y que espera lo mejor de las cosas. Ella está constantemente evaluando, reevaluando, y comprometiéndose a las metas de su vida y escoge mantener la cabeza en alto. Esta es una mujer que PUEDE lograr lo que se proponga.

Sexy comienza primero en la cabeza y luego en el corazón 

Translation by:  P.K.

It's Green Where You Water It

I can already hear the scoffs coming in many directions as I prepare to tell about you about the origin of this week's "Stay Sexy Moment" and you know, that's okay.  I am a confident adult woman and no matter what anyone thinks, I can enjoy Justin Bieber along with everyone else, whether they want to admit it or not.  So here it is!

Several months ago, my friend and fellow goalie, Beast, were discussing how we had goals we were working towards.  There were a three categories:  Spiritual goals, social goals, and personal progress goals.  We used to meet every Monday morning at a coffee shop near my office and read scriptures, catch up on life, and discuss how our goals were coming along.  This weekly meeting was one of my favourite parts of the week.  As the weeks moved along we found that we were becoming successful in meeting our goals and when we fell short, we talked about what our focus was on at that time in our lives. 

One night, as we were gearing up for hockey class, she tells me, "you know what?  I was listening to the radio and a Justin Bieber song came on and a line in the song really stuck with me." I smiled, because I am quite the fan and waited to hear what gem she was going to share.  To my astonishment, it was indeed share-worthy and for some reason, all these months later, it's again on my mind.  Here it is:

But, the grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.

The last part is where the focus lies though.  "It's green where you water it." You, may choose to keep on looking for greener pastures, but sometimes, you just need to take the time to tend what's right in front of you and give it a chance to grow. 

Many people have crossed paths with me in life that I may not have had an instant connection with.  Whether they were casual encounters turned into friendships, or a friend-of-a-friend that "rubbed me the wrong way," or simply, there just wasn't that connection we seek.  However, over time, some of the people that would fit in the above listed categories, as well as others of a similar nature, are now wonderful and close friends to me.  There is a term I use for a person who may "improve upon closer acquaintance."  The term is:  grower.  Yes, that's right, a grower.

We've all had them.  A person that over time grows on us and whether it's just a person who becomes endeared to you, or someone that you simply hold in high esteem and love greatly, they're a grower.  As we are all rushing through life, and looking to get that instant satisfaction, or find the immediate value someone can add to your life before you move along, we often miss an opportunity to get to know someone amazing.  I am a child of God, and I believe we all are.  If we take the time to see the good, we'll find it.  Whether it's new friendships, or potential dating relationships, don't forget that sometimes, we just need to get past the first few awkward phases before we see what a person may have to offer and add to your life.  Don't miss out because you were impatient.

A rose doesn't grow and blossom overnight.  It takes time.  It must be planted, given proper light, and water so that it can receive and process nutrients.  Over time, it becomes and blooms into a beautiful rose, that had we not taken the time to water it, even when we couldn't see anything more than soil, we would never had the opportunity to appreciate its beauty.  

Stay Sexy Thursday is about an attitude.  They way you see yourself, they way you see others, and the way you share the good with those around you;  that is the key   This week's challenge is to look at your reflection in the mirror for three minutes before leaving your house for the day.  For those three minutes, tell your reflection about who you are and what you stand for.  If you're unsure, ask.  I am pretty sure you will surprise yourself  with all that you have to offer up in those 180 seconds.  Remember, it's not about conceit, it's being convinced.  

"It's green where you water it." So, start with you.  Sexy starts first in the head, then with the heart.  Say it.  Believe it.  Be it.

The Brush Off

It doesn’t matter how much of a “tough girl” or “tough guy” you are, getting the “brush off” is always disappointing.  Even when all the signs for the go-ahead run were there and you went for it with confidence.  Getting the brush off in the end, it is still disappointing.  Do you lack confidence?  Nah, I’d say not.  Despite having confidence, it doesn’t mean we can’t feel disappointment for a plan, or an expectation not to come to fruition.  I’ve recently hit a few roadblocks, both socially, and with my home life. 

I like to keep a busy schedule and also spend a lot of time away from home.  There is a constant desire and strong need to get my room organized, finish unpacking boxes (I moved in October), take several bags and boxes over to the local thrift shop, and to simply, cook a nice meal that doesn’t come from the salad bar from the market, or out of a container from the deli counter.  (Actually, I “steamed” some broccoli in the microwave this weekend, and baked a piece of pre-seasoned chicken from the meat counter, that has to count a little, but I digress). 

The point is, I get home from a house sitting gig and my bed is covered in clothes.  I rush in, I rush out – all week long, sometimes for weeks.  I do a load of laundry in between it all, grab what I need, and the rest goes on my bed.  When I return home, for two or three days, I sleep amongst a mountain of clothes in a small crevasse between clothes and my head board.  I’m disappointed in myself.  I failed to make keeping my room tidy and neat a priority in my life.  Do I have every intention of keeping up with laundry and making my bed?  Absolutely.  Do I intentionally neglect the attention those tasks require?  Absolutely not, but – here’s the big “but” moment:  I simply chose to make other things a priority, and when the time is right for me and I am ready to make my room a priority, then I will.  The good news is, that though my room continues to suffer from my lack of attention, I am meanwhile, enjoying other aspects life has to offer, as opposed to coming home and pining about the state of my room, or on when I will decide, if ever, to make it a priority.

Now, to bring this point to the social brush offs we very often encounter.  When we meet people we seem to connect with, as adults, it’s not always as easy to reach out a little to make the connection last a little longer.  Here’s an example. A few years ago, when I first moved to Anchorage, I had a really difficult time meeting people that I could ingratiate myself with and find my social niche.  It was terribly challenging, because as adults, we all run around taking care of this, that, and the other.  If we’re married, our families and jobs take up the bulk, if not all our free time.  Even now, as I have a network of friends and individuals I associate with, there are always challenges when it comes to setting up a time to actually get together.  We always have good intentions of making something happen, but often times, we all fall short, or forget to get back and confirm a meet up for coffee, or drinks.  I don’t get offended or upset about it.  Is it disappointing?  Was I looking forward to meeting up with the girls at our favorite breakfast spot?  Sure, but I know that life simply happens.  That goes the same for dating.  If he or she doesn’t follow through, it’s disappointing, believe me, I get it, but in the end, it’s their loss right?  =D 

We’ve all heard the expression, or received the invitation to “Do Lunch,” at some point in our lives, right?  Now, I am a woman of action.  Always have been and continue to be so inclined.  If I tell someone, “We should do lunch sometime.”  I actually mean it and I am prepared to get it down on my calendar.    Remember that we are here seeking to be our best selves, and spending time seeking validation from others to see what we have to offer will not only bring us down, but prevent us from being able to stand on our own, look in the mirror and see what our real potential is, and how amazing we already are.

As a society, we move at a fast pace and with all our technology, our peer-to-peer interfacing is becoming less and less.  We text, we “chat” via computer, or we email.  Sometimes, it’s nice to see a smiling face to brighten up a day that may be laden with work, home, or social stresses.  How many of us pass someone in the hall at work and say something like “Good morning, how are ya?” and actually take the time to 1) hear the answer, and 2) actually want to hear the truth about it?  If one of my co-workers is having a rough day in the office and the only assistance I can offer is to let them bend my ear for a tick, then I am happy to do so; even if it’s just to say “I am having a terribly challenging day, just needed to say it out loud.” 

As we go through our week, and if nothing else, on Stay Sexy Thursdays, let’s make an effort to share the spirit of what we celebrate every week of having the “Stay Sexy Attitude.”  To close this week’s post, I will do so with a few lines from songs and scriptures I have enjoyed listening to and reading over the years.  Kudos if you know the song/artist/reference.

“I’m gonna smile my best smile.  I’m gonna laugh like it’s going out of style.”

“…it’ll never go away, until the fear that you’ve been running from is finally embraced.”

“Consider the lilies how they grow:  they toil not, they spin not…And seek not what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.”

One quick shout out to my gal pal, Trucker!  No matter what happens in our lives, we always make one night a month where we get together, eat sushi and get caught up!  Love ya, girl!  Thanks for always choosing to make time and working with my insane schedule!  Someday, maybe, we will actually hit up a yoga class together.