The Brush Off

It doesn’t matter how much of a “tough girl” or “tough guy” you are, getting the “brush off” is always disappointing.  Even when all the signs for the go-ahead run were there and you went for it with confidence.  Getting the brush off in the end, it is still disappointing.  Do you lack confidence?  Nah, I’d say not.  Despite having confidence, it doesn’t mean we can’t feel disappointment for a plan, or an expectation not to come to fruition.  I’ve recently hit a few roadblocks, both socially, and with my home life. 

I like to keep a busy schedule and also spend a lot of time away from home.  There is a constant desire and strong need to get my room organized, finish unpacking boxes (I moved in October), take several bags and boxes over to the local thrift shop, and to simply, cook a nice meal that doesn’t come from the salad bar from the market, or out of a container from the deli counter.  (Actually, I “steamed” some broccoli in the microwave this weekend, and baked a piece of pre-seasoned chicken from the meat counter, that has to count a little, but I digress). 

The point is, I get home from a house sitting gig and my bed is covered in clothes.  I rush in, I rush out – all week long, sometimes for weeks.  I do a load of laundry in between it all, grab what I need, and the rest goes on my bed.  When I return home, for two or three days, I sleep amongst a mountain of clothes in a small crevasse between clothes and my head board.  I’m disappointed in myself.  I failed to make keeping my room tidy and neat a priority in my life.  Do I have every intention of keeping up with laundry and making my bed?  Absolutely.  Do I intentionally neglect the attention those tasks require?  Absolutely not, but – here’s the big “but” moment:  I simply chose to make other things a priority, and when the time is right for me and I am ready to make my room a priority, then I will.  The good news is, that though my room continues to suffer from my lack of attention, I am meanwhile, enjoying other aspects life has to offer, as opposed to coming home and pining about the state of my room, or on when I will decide, if ever, to make it a priority.

Now, to bring this point to the social brush offs we very often encounter.  When we meet people we seem to connect with, as adults, it’s not always as easy to reach out a little to make the connection last a little longer.  Here’s an example. A few years ago, when I first moved to Anchorage, I had a really difficult time meeting people that I could ingratiate myself with and find my social niche.  It was terribly challenging, because as adults, we all run around taking care of this, that, and the other.  If we’re married, our families and jobs take up the bulk, if not all our free time.  Even now, as I have a network of friends and individuals I associate with, there are always challenges when it comes to setting up a time to actually get together.  We always have good intentions of making something happen, but often times, we all fall short, or forget to get back and confirm a meet up for coffee, or drinks.  I don’t get offended or upset about it.  Is it disappointing?  Was I looking forward to meeting up with the girls at our favorite breakfast spot?  Sure, but I know that life simply happens.  That goes the same for dating.  If he or she doesn’t follow through, it’s disappointing, believe me, I get it, but in the end, it’s their loss right?  =D 

We’ve all heard the expression, or received the invitation to “Do Lunch,” at some point in our lives, right?  Now, I am a woman of action.  Always have been and continue to be so inclined.  If I tell someone, “We should do lunch sometime.”  I actually mean it and I am prepared to get it down on my calendar.    Remember that we are here seeking to be our best selves, and spending time seeking validation from others to see what we have to offer will not only bring us down, but prevent us from being able to stand on our own, look in the mirror and see what our real potential is, and how amazing we already are.

As a society, we move at a fast pace and with all our technology, our peer-to-peer interfacing is becoming less and less.  We text, we “chat” via computer, or we email.  Sometimes, it’s nice to see a smiling face to brighten up a day that may be laden with work, home, or social stresses.  How many of us pass someone in the hall at work and say something like “Good morning, how are ya?” and actually take the time to 1) hear the answer, and 2) actually want to hear the truth about it?  If one of my co-workers is having a rough day in the office and the only assistance I can offer is to let them bend my ear for a tick, then I am happy to do so; even if it’s just to say “I am having a terribly challenging day, just needed to say it out loud.” 

As we go through our week, and if nothing else, on Stay Sexy Thursdays, let’s make an effort to share the spirit of what we celebrate every week of having the “Stay Sexy Attitude.”  To close this week’s post, I will do so with a few lines from songs and scriptures I have enjoyed listening to and reading over the years.  Kudos if you know the song/artist/reference.

“I’m gonna smile my best smile.  I’m gonna laugh like it’s going out of style.”

“…it’ll never go away, until the fear that you’ve been running from is finally embraced.”

“Consider the lilies how they grow:  they toil not, they spin not…And seek not what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.”

One quick shout out to my gal pal, Trucker!  No matter what happens in our lives, we always make one night a month where we get together, eat sushi and get caught up!  Love ya, girl!  Thanks for always choosing to make time and working with my insane schedule!  Someday, maybe, we will actually hit up a yoga class together.